CERTIFIED, BABY!

Oh my goodness, I can't believe it's over!

Yesterday was CA-RAZY! We had a super class in the morning about teaching Yoga to kids, which was very helpful and insightful. Then I went to the mall with a few girls for lunch and had my first experience with Beard Papa's creme puffs.... Thank GOD I discovered these at the end of my trip, because they are almost worth staying in San Francisco and becoming very fat for. SO DELICIOUS!!! In the afternoon we had a little gathering to say whatever we wanted to say to the group, which turned into a big tear fest. There wasn't a dry eye in the house, there was much hugging and laughing and tears. What a wonderful group of people :) And then? Ahhhh, our certificates! So beautiful!

Then we all put out our mats for Friday Happy Hour... a horrifying 90 poses in 90 minutes Yoga class. Yikes. Needless to say, I faked my way through about 30 of those poses (haha) because really... no.... just no.

After that we went to hang out on the patio of an apartment of one of the trainees. We ate and froze and then decided to go back to the studio to finish our party. Mark Twain wasn't kidding when he said "The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." IT'S COLD HERE! Upon returning to the studio there was much wine and good music and a few of us started dancing. I even managed to have a few Salsa tracks thrown in there. The director of the studio arrived, bringing with him some marijuana... yikes... so I stayed in the dancing area rather than the blue-aired lobby... ugh, that stuff smells so vile! I said to some people "I never expected THAT!" and they said "really? I did." I guess that's San Francisco for you. Sometimes it's like living on a different planet.

I've gotten to know some really wonderful people and have learned so much! I'm glad I did it and I have to admit that I'm really proud of myself. YAY ME!!! Heehee.

Tomorrow is Disneyland, which I am over the MOON about! SO so so so SO excited! I won't be able to post for a few days, but when I get back, absolutely.

I love you and miss you all!
Gillian

The Retrospective Post

Wow, I can't believe I'm actually done! Technically I still have tomorrow, but I'm done all of the assignments, all of the exams, and tomorrow is just one last lesson (teaching Yoga to Kids) and then our "ceremony" and one last practice. WOW!!!

The final exam today went REALLY well. I was so nervous beforehand, we were madly quizzing each other, and we got paired up (lucky me, I really like the girl who I got paired with!) She went first and I had a GREAT practice, and then I went and she was like "wow. Promise me you'll teach. You're such a good teacher!" YAY!!!! Lots of positive feedback, and I couldn't believe how quickly it went! We all went out for dinner and drinks afterwards, which was fun :) I'm really going to miss my fellow trainees! What an interesting assortment of people they are, and all so smart and funny and supportive *sniffle* I'm glad to be done the course because it was really intense and emotional, but I will miss the people a lot.

I guess it's time to answer the questions then, isn't it?

1. Are you buff?
Uh, no. I'm stronger, but I still look the same. If you were to TOUCH me, you'd feel a difference, but I don't think I look at all different. If you just poke my belly (which I know you will, Nathan) you'll feel it's solid, but I'm not going to rush out and wear a bikini.

2. Can you do a headstand?
Uh... also no. In fact, I've been told that I just don't have the shoulder strength to do that yet, but in another three months, yes. So ask me again in three months.

3. Have you met the love of your life/Can we stop worrying about your old-maid status?
Again, no. I'm sorry. But I'm optimistic about the guys in Nova Scotia.

4. Will you, in fact, teach Yoga?
Maybe. I'm going to teach mum and dad (and anyone else who is interested! Free Private Yoga Instruction!!!!) and go from there. I think I have to see what will fly in small town Nova Scotia and go from there!

5. Are you Zen/Non-Attached?
Haha, well... I'm tired! Does that count?

6. You just finished Yoga School! What are you going to do now?!
I'M GOING TO DISNEYLAND!!!

Love you and miss you and see most of you in a week!!!

Gillian

P.S. One of the instructors showed us this Monty Python video on "Learning to Fly"... oddly similar to how WE learn to fly "Arms out, fingers together, knees bent, head well forward!" Hahaha. Love it!

The Final Stretch

Wow, this week has been busy and the Internet has been sketchy! I wrote a big long post yesterday and then got disconnected before I could save it! D'oh! I'm sure it's all irrelevant by now anyway.

It's been a good week. The director said my independent practice was beautiful, which was exciting. He also brought in a massage therapist who gave us all back massages, which was very nice also. My neck/shoulders required much work and I was nearly crying by the end it hurt so much! Ah well. We had guest speaker in to talk about Ayurveda, which was really interesting! It's been a good week! Lots of tests and assignments due, and now I'm done all except for the Final Practical Exam tomorrow. I AM nervous about this one, since we have to teach an hour-long class to a classmate. It would help if I knew who I was being paired with, because I know some people would really help you out if you were going on the wrong track into a pose (give you physical hints, etc), and other people wouldn't. When I'm doing the practice on my own I remember the sequence, but when I'm teaching it to someone else my mind blanks sometimes and I forget what comes next or what a pose is called. I've been trying to study but I feel completely burnt out. At this point I just want to be finished!!! All I have left in me tonight is to repeat the seated series to myself in the shower and hope for the best.

Two Days Left!
Love,
Gillian

Get Your Pride On!

Today was the Gay Pride Parade in San Francisco. A few of us girls ran over to Market to check out the festivities on our lunch break. It was SO MUCH FUN! I wish we could have stayed, and darnit, I really regret not buying that rainbow feather boa!

So these pictures are dedicated to Kim, who asked if there were any cute guys in San Francisco... The answer is Yes, but most of them are Gay and on the Altoids float, throwing bubbles at each other.... Yum.... Altoids :)



This was SO much cooler than the our parades back home :P
Love,
Gillian

I'M GOING TO DISNEYLAND!

YAY! Yes, it's true! It's my last week of school and then?! I'm going to Disneyland with Josh, Susan and Caspian!!! (but don't tell Caspian... we might just surprise him!) I'm so excited. My parents and I have both been hinting to them that I'd really like to go, and I'm here for five days after school finishes, and tonight Susan said "well, do you want to go?" YES YES YES! Heehee.

We went to Susan's ballet recital today, and she was A-MA-ZING! She did such a great job, I'm totally impressed! Yay Susan!

Tonight I'm very tired and sick and not very excited for the week ahead. I have three tests in the next six days, one of which is my actual exam where I have to teach an hour long class (luckily, just to another teacher-trainee, but still.) I don't feel at all prepared, especially considering that I don't even have the sequence memorised, but my brain is going "la la la! I'm not listening!!!"

I still don't feel like I'm all that buff either. I FEEL stronger, I FEEL thinner, but I don't think I look that much different when I look in the mirror, except that my hair is a bit longer and I have a bit less body fat... Anyway, all I'm saying is don't expect significant changes when I step off the plane :P

That's all my rambling for tonight!
Love,
Gillian

Dream Box

Hmmm... Where to begin? The past two days have gone pretty well, my shoulder is much better and I've gotten loads of positive feedback at school, which is encouraging. I woke up this morning with some hideous head-cold, which made Yoga no fun. I got about 2/3 of the way through practice and then felt faint and decided to stop. Good times. I bought a new Yoga Mat... The Alfa Romeo of Yoga Mats, but I tried it out and promptly said goodbye to my old one. I used to slip and slide everywhere, and I'm not really a sweaty person, but it just had no grip! But my Harmony mat is substantial, grippy, and a really lovely indigo colour. It's so nice that I may actually give it a name!

This afternoon at school we had a very special project. We had a guest speaker come in to talk to us about Manifesting our Dreams. The "It's Yoga" school of thought is that if you write down what you want, the universe will provide. A few years ago I would have thought that was hooey, but when I wrote down the "gee, wouldn't it be nice to go to school to become a Yoga teacher?" on my blog, and then it happened? I became a believer. Anyway, I'm totally digressing here. So this woman came in to talk to us about Manifesting our Dreams by making a Dream Box. The idea is that you meditate (or visualize) and ask your Inner Teacher "What Do I Want?" Whatever you come up with, you write down and put in your dream box. Then the Universe gives you the tools to make it happen.

The speaker took us through a Visualization process, leading us through questions about what we saw, what we want, how we can achieve this. Then, based on what we saw, we got to decoupage a box for ourselves! YAY! It was so much fun, so inspiring and it really cheered everyone up. Most of my "meditation" wasn't really surprising, because I came up with the stuff that I ALWAYS come up with: I want to be a writer, I want to be a mother, I want to live by the ocean, I want feel instead of being numb, I want to be stable. That stuff is all old news. But what I DID notice was that the Gillian I saw in the visualization was calm and confident. I wrote in a sunshine-yellow room, and I was confident in what I wrote. There was no feeling of "geez, I suck at this too!" For once I wasn't severely disappointed in myself. There weren't any feelings that I wasn't a good enough wife/mother/writer/person. There wasn't any anxiety at all!!! Interesting. This, of course, gave me many deep things to ponder.

I got to work on my dream box and found lots of good things to put on it. Pretty paper, magazine pictures: Books in a yellow room, a rocky ocean beach, a hand holding a naked baby bottom with the word "touch." I also put on the word "simplified", and "romance." Then, I found the perfect quote for the top: "You must believe in yourself and in all the possibilities." Yes, I really must!

Well, there's a big insight into my life for you! Wow! More about me than you ever needed to know :P I really encourage everyone to make a dream box, if only to have fun and help you gain a little "drishti" (focus) on your dreams. And well? That's about it... except for one thing...

Thank GOODNESS it's Friday... Only one week of Yoga school left!!!!!!

Gillian

Those Are Some Powerful Drugs!

Yesterday when I was attempting to fly I bailed pretty hard into Cute Med. Student's knees. He was very understanding, and I was embarrassed enough that I didn't realise that I'd hurt myself. Last night the pain started to kick in, so I took some muscle relaxants and watched some X-Files. And this morning? MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF PAIN! Mr. Chiropractor has since concluded that I sprained my Rotator Cuff Tendon. Isn't that nice? I thought so too. At any rate, I blame the drugs on my super-weird day.

My alarm went off at 5:30am, and I actually dragged my sorry self out of bed at 6. I tried to get ready for school, but by 6:30 I was cold and I hurt, so I went back to bed for an hour... fully clothed, because getting dressed the first time was really hard. I slept, got up and left for school while I was still mostly asleep. I was just sitting down to seriously study when a friend asked me to go to Whole Foods with her, and I thought oatmeal sounded nice, so I agreed. When we got back we seriously studied for a good ten minutes and then started to talk about important things... like boys and dancing. Then I think I had class for a while, and then I assisted my first class, which was as enjoyable as manhandling a lot of sweaty people can be. Then a three hour lecture with Mr. Chiropractor, who promised we'd all die next week if we drink pop, take pain killers, use computers and wear high heels. I think his life must not be very exciting. I hope he goes to the Gay Pride Parade on Sunday and has a little fun. Maybe he could even *gasp* have a COLA!!!! WOW! THAT WOULD BE LIVING ON THE EDGE!!!

Then I went shopping and somehow got talked into applying for a Victoria's Secret credit card while... YES, WHILE... they were doing a bra fitting on me! That's how they get you, whipping out the measuring tape in a swarming "Semi-Annual Sale" crowd and asking you what your phone number is! YIKES!!! I didn't even realise they'd done it until they told me I'd been approved. It was sheer madness, I'm telling you, SHEER MADNESS!

... I'd like to say that the day ended there, but alas, it didn't.

I got home to a note on my bed that said "Join us for dinner at Kennedy's for Indian food at Columbus and Taylor."
"Okay," I said, putting down my shamefully large bag of Victoria's Secret merchandise.
I started walking down Columbus, past Filbert, past Union... hmmmm. Then I turned around and started walking in the right direction (so embarrassing!) Then some tourists asked me where they could find a good Italian place, so I suggested North Beach Restaurant. Then I got to Columbus and Taylor and didn't see any restaurants at all. Then another tourist asked me if a mailbox was, indeed, a mailbox (for international mail) and I said Yes. Then I saw a sign that said "Kennedy's Irish Pub." ... Irish? Indian? What? But indeed, there was Caspian's bicycle parked outside, and indeed, inside was half-Irish Pub, half-Indian Restaurant... Weird. The food was spectacular, mmmmm. And then, at last, we had Gelato (I got half-watermelon, half-nectarine... Yummmmm.)

And that's that! Isn't that exciting? My Rotator Cuff Tendon WILL be okay by tomorrow, because I have to do two classes to make up for the one I missed today. Weeeee! Isn't this fun? 8 more classes to go!

Love to all,
Gillian

I'm Only Writing This To Stay Awake..

I am so... tired... I think the only way I can possibly stay awake is if I go get gelato, but this being San Francisco, that would involve climbing hills, which sounds like a lot of work. Maybe I'll just go to bed.

Today was hard work! We had a workshop about "flying" (the part in the video involving arm balancing) ... I still can't do it, but at least now I can say that I TRIED... for three hours... and now have shooting pain in my right arm. But what was I saying? Oh yes, I'm tired. And what else?

Oh yes. I FINALLY got some positive feedback. I was messing around with two other girls, trying to carry on a conversation in French... I don't know why... and we were saying how tired we are. Then I said, in English, that I didn't feel that I was improving at all. Moments later, the instructor who'd just taught the noon class said "you did a great job today, Gillian." And I said "wow, really?" and he said "yes, your alignment was perfect, just like a ballerina!" Well what do you know? That made me feel better, even though I can't fly :P

Hmmm, what else can I tell you? Right now I'm sitting on my bed listening to Caspian type an apology letter to me. His mom is making him do it because he burst into tears TWICE when confronted with the horrifying prospect of sitting next to ME at dinner tonight. I know that's pretty traumatic, so I said "that's okay, I'll go to my room." I feel so loved. I also get the impression that he will now resent me even MORE because he's spending his evening apologising to me instead of throwing Transformers at my head, which is his favourite hobby.

Caspian's Apology

Hmmmm. I could go shopping, but that also sounds like a lot of work. Studying is entirely out of the question, on account of I don't care anymore. I can go to bed at 6pm, right? I don't think there are any laws against that.

Yes, that sounds like an excellent plan!
Goodnight!
Gillian

I Don't Bend That Way!

For those of you wondering "what does Gillian do all day?" here is a video I found on YouTube of people doing Ashtanga Yoga really well. Personally, I'm not that good. I can do most of these poses, and if not the "full" pose, then the modified version. I still can't do the ones where they are JUST balancing on the arms, and I can't say that any of us have tried the ones where they have their feet behind their heads... that's just for creepy circus folk... Also, we don't get to do Yoga on mountains with monkeys running around in the background, which I'm very sorry about. This week we get to choose three poses that the instructors will give us extra help on... mine are ALL arm balance ones, so we'll see if I can muster the shoulder strength from somewhere, and then I can show off when I get home.

For now, here's the video:



No wonder I'm tired!!!

Miss you!
Gillian

Hooray for Days Off!

Hi All!

Today was good, mostly because I didn't have school (haha), but also because I saw and did some marvelous things!

I slept till ten and then Josh and I went to Cafe Divine for breakfast (Susan and Caspian were at ballet and then a Chinese lesson.) We came home for a bit and then all four of us went down to Fisherman's Wharf to the Musee Mechanique, a collection of truly bizarre and slightly creepy mechanical carnival attractions and games. All of the games have been fixed up and still operate for about 25 cents. I watched a flip-book movie of Marilyn Monroe, which was cute, but there were a lot of creepy marionette dancers that I stayed far, far away from. If you've ever been frightened by a circus horror movie, I don't recommend that you visit. If Wurlitzer music and "Laffing Sal" give you nightmares, stay home. For everyone else, it's pretty neat...

but I digress...

From there we went to the Jeremiah O'Brien, a huge ship from World War II. They allow tours of the ship, and this weekend in particular they were allowing tours of the "triple expansion double acting steam engine" (aka: boiler room). Interestingly, this was the boiler room/steam engine that they used in the filming of "Titanic." It was sooooo hot down there, I loved it. If I were to work on a ship I would totally shovel coal into the boilers. Sweet. Maybe that will be my next career.

The Jeremiah O'Brien

The life boat... I just thought it was a cool picture :P

After the boat we took the bus to Chestnut Street to a fabulous Mexican restaurant called "Mamacita." OMG, it was so delicious. It almost killed me to sit still with the fabulous Latin salsa music in the background, though. I really want to go dancing! The food was amazing. I highly recommend it.

Then we went to Palace of Fine Arts. It is SO.FREAKING.BEAUTIFUL. I want to live there and be a Grecian princess... I'm entirely serious. It was amazing. I would happily shell out a few thousand bucks to get married there, it was that impressive (now I just need the man... haha!) Anyway, here are a few pictures:

The "Theatre" portion of the Palace

(me and Caspian... this kid is getting enormous! His mama asked him "what kind of columns are these?" and he shouted "CORINTHIAN!".... smart, too!)

I just liked this dramatic lighting on Caspian... he's very statue-esque!

Swans at the Palace... ethereal, and very much belong in my Grecian Palace.

Just to demonstrate how big this place is, here is Caspian standing in front of a pillar in the Theatre... It's freakin' big.

To conclude... I would like to move in tomorrow :)

And NOW? It's definitely bed time.

Love,

Gillian

Yay Friday!

Hi all,

Thanks for being so nice and caring and understanding of my frustration. I'm halfway through the course, thank goodness, and I have tomorrow off, thank goodness even more.

Not much to report today... I'm tired, but I had awful dreams last night, so I'm waiting until I'm really, REALLY tired before I sleep tonight. School was okay today, there were some interesting boy/girl dynamics that kept me entertained, and cute Med. Student sat beside me again, so I had the pleasure of adjusting him in class... his shoulder alignment was actually fine, but I really had to check for myself to be sure ;) After dinner Josh, Susan, Caspian and I went down Union street to look in some fun shops and have dessert. I finally found the perfume I've been looking for ("Warm Cotton" by Clean.) It smells, honestly, like a clean cotton shirt that's been in the sun... fresh and comforting and well worth the outrageous prices at "Sephora."

I've been going a bit crazy with the shopping and it has to stop. I've gotten mostly cute, summery outfits for myself and some souvenirs for people. Tomorrow is the North Beach Festival, so hopefully I'll find some more neat San Francisco-ey things there, especially since it's right by the house. I'll take pictures if I see anything fabulous.

I miss you all a ton!

Love,
Gillian

*pout*

I wanna go home :(

Love,
Gillian

Continued...

Okay, I realised when I was in the shower that this really sounded just whiny. Please let me explain. I'm a little neurotic right now. I'm coming to realise that I'm really not very good at Yoga and that this is probably not something I'll pursue for a career. I'm disappointed about that, because I was really hoping that this was IT, and now I'm entirely out of ideas. I guess that gives me something to meditate on, hmmm?

I've been having really weird dreams too, all in the "I'm in over my head" theme. For example, I dreamt that it was the day the new owners of my condo were to take possession, and I went in to do a little last-minute cleaning. When I got there, not only had I not packed anything, but my condo was filled to the ceiling with JUNK! Then I had another dream that I was in a store and this old woman was standing blocking the door. I kept asking her to excuse me, but she wouldn't move, so I pushed her, a bit too hard, I guess, because she hurt herself and then sued me for a million dollars. Then I had ANOTHER dream that I was suddenly very pregnant, but I didn't know how, and I was trying to hide my belly during Yoga class in case someone asked who the father of my Miracle Baby was. YIKES!

At any rate, this video pretty much sums up how I'm feeling right now. "Everyone knows I'm in over my head, over my head..." ... everyone at "It's Yoga", anyway.

If you have any thoughts about a great future career for me, please let me know.

Bummin' in Frisco,
Gillian

Target, AT LAST, TARGET!

It's been ten years since my first and only visit to Target, and ten years since I wanted to return. Tar-Jay... ahhhh. I have tried many times, but things always happened at the last minute and I never made it. I was sceptical today. I admit, I didn't think it would happen. But I rushed home early from school and Susan, Caspian and I rented a ZIP car for a few hours and drove off to Colma, to Target, at last. It didn't dissapoint. I bought oh so many things; a purse, a sun dress, two shirts, some candy! Susan bought cleaning supplies, Caspian got a toy. Very successful and so much fun :)

I am SO SICK of school right now, so Target was very welcome. Today my knees and hips gave out on me entirely for about 20 minutes, and that was sort of scary. I was in Warrior pose and then I was on the floor. I tried to get up, and my muscles said "that's nice" and didn't respond. Fabulous. Interestingly, cute Med Student talked to me today, swinging his arms in a macho-fashion and discussing injuries and yoga things. When his buddy, cute Soccer guy, saw him talking to me he ALSO sat down and starting talking to me, AND wanted to be my partner for the physical adjustments. Guys are weird. The only thing I can think is that MAYBE cute Med Student heard me admiring his body when a few of us girls were observing a class the other day... hmmmm. I figure it must be pity-attention, because I'm one of the homeliest, least co-ordinated girls in the class, and before you contradict me, you just have to believe that this is 100% TRUE and not me feeling bad about myself. Besides which, YOU haven't seen the beautiful Yoga divas in my class, so you HAVE to trust me ;)

That's all for now, I think. I'm really tired and want to sleep for a month.

La-La-Love to you,
Gillian

Ashtanga Yoga is a Science of the Mind...

... or so we've been told.

This week has been hard. We had fair warning that this yoga practice would open emotional floodgates, and that the second week would be the Week of Tears. I didn't really believe that, but oh boy, now I do. The paper learning is basically done, so it's ALL Yoga ALL day. When we aren't doing our practice, we're doing physical adjustments in the poses. When we aren't doing the physical adjustments, we're doing the posture break-downs. It is 100% physical and meditative, 8 hours a day. It's a lot like counseling in a way; We are forced to look at all aspects of ourselves internally and externally, and I'm not kidding when I say that each breath, each way you move your eyes, each limb even an inch off is subject to scrutiny and criticism from the entire class. This isn't to say that that class isn't supportive, because they are. But what I AM saying is that your faults are being magnified during an entire day of extreme physical pressure. I hurt a lot, emotionally and physically.

The other major contributing factor has been Sunday's lecture on Non-Attachment. The concept of Non-Attachment is to love and desire, but not to the point where you feel that your happiness is dependent on something external (such as having money, or cars, or George Clooney.) So while we had this lecture we were asked to identify our attachments, and explore them. How would it feel to remove our FEAR of losing them? For whatever reason, this struck a cord with me and that, coupled with the physical scrutiny, cut a big path to my heart and I have been on the verge of tears ever since.

This is a hard concept. It has forced me to be entirely honest with myself. Yes, we all have attachments, and I will never remove family from my attachments, because my happiness is very much dependent on their presence in my life. I just don't care, they are, and I like it that way. But this openness, I think, also allows you to see other people differently. Somehow their damage is projected onto you and the sadness and love and empathy is magnified. It probably doesn't help that I'm really homesick, too. I feel so lost and exposed, and any smile from a kind guy on the bus just makes me want to bury my head in their shoulder and cry. It's not right, but there it is.

I'll be very glad when this month is over. I don't know if I'll want to teach or not. Maybe. We'll see.

There ARE a few good things. I got 100% on my quiz, I'm losing fat (albeit, in weird places, like my rib cage) and my muscles are taut (maybe just tight?) and getting stronger. The teachers are happy with my improvement and say I'm doing a good job, and the Inner Critic is quieting... I got to do physical adjustments with the cute male med. student today (heehee) which gave me an excuse to feel his muscles with a contemplative gaze on my face ;) Nice.

I guess that's it for now! I'm going to Target tomorrow, so if you have any requests then send me a text message before 5pm Calgary Time.

Love you and miss you!!!
Gillian

The Post To Make You All Jealous ;)

So today was (at last!) my day off! I am now officially 1/4 of the way through my Yoga certification, and I wasn't even sore today, which means that I have to work harder tomorrow ;) But today was lovely! I got up at 8 and Josh and I hopped a few busses to go meet Susan and Caspian after ballet class. Then we picked up some sandwiches and hopped on another bus to go to the beach!

First we went to the ruins of the Sutro Baths. The baths, opened in 1896, were once enclosed in an enormous glass conservatory. It sounds like it was once pretty spectacular. Now it's pretty neat to see and imagine. We climbed around the hills and on the cement remains and read a very sombre "missing persons" poster about 2 visitors who were swept out to sea a few weeks ago. Very sad, but we stayed away from the dangerous parts, don't you worry.

Sutro Bath Ruins.

Sutro Bath Ruins, with Cliff House in the background. Cliff House has seen all sorts of destruction and resurrection in it's past. Check out these mighty-cool pictures of what it used to look like, and these pictures of that version of Cliff House on fire.

This rock is called Seal Rock, but as far as I could tell there were only Sea Lions on it, and mostly it just looked like a Piratey rock to me, so I took a picture :)

A very happy sign that REALLY made me want to go to the beach.... really... Yay for scary California Beaches! (this is Ocean Beach, by the way.)

I bet you didn't know that we had a family castle, did you? Well here it is, with Josh, Susan and Caspian standing behind it! So Regal (yes, Josh DOES have blue hair.) Sadly, moments after this picture was taken, the castle was destroyed by Godzilla (who bears a striking resemblance to Caspian!)

And finally, for those who requested it, a picture of me doing Yoga on the beach. Now those who have asked "are you buff yet?" can see that I'm clearly not (otherwise I'd be doing a hand-stand instead of Tree Pose). I still have three weeks though, so give it time. I DO, however, have really terrible hair from the humidity. That counts for something, right? Also, I swear I saw Brad Pitt on the way home, and he saw my really awful hair.

So sad. So very sad. I hope he doesn't tell George Clooney.

Love to you all :)

Gillian

Boy Am I Tired!

This Yoga thing? Is really hard work. I am so tired. I knew I'd be tired, but I didn't think I'd be THIS tired. I've also noticed that the Yoga has seeped into my brain. For Example? I found myself in a Yoga stance on the cable car. I think I might also be ready for my quiz tomorrow, but let's not jinx that.

Today I'm happy for a variety of reasons:
- I'm happy that the Sanskrit names feel less scary.
- I'm happy because my Yoga Practice today went really well. I was feeling the breath and the poses and I came out of it drenched in sweat and with nerve-endings all a-twinkle.
- I'm happy because I finally realised that not having shoulder strength is NOT the end of the world.
- I'm happy because I didn't have a class with the owner of the studio today, who really brings down my vibe.
- I'm happy that it's almost Saturday, and that's my only day off.
- I'm happy because I went shopping after school and bought some super-cute clothes (such good shopping here! Droooooool!)

I went to Victoria's Secret and Old Navy (I know we have those in Calgary, but this one has 3 floors and actually has size SMALLs left.) I also went into Forever 21, which made me feel Definitely Not 21, because the music was too loud and I'm no longer adorable enough to get away with green gingham baby-doll dresses... I DID stand there staring at them for a few minutes but, I dunno, I should dress my age... or something.... maybe. Maybe when the post-Yoga Buffness kicks in.

Okay, I shouldn't put off my homework any longer *sigh*
Love you and miss you,
Gillian

Escape from Yoga Prison

Today I did Yoga School from 7am to 4pm, and when I finished I didn't want to even think about Yoga (I've been walking around muttering Sanskrit all day...)!!! So I was bad and took a few hours off to go to Fisherman's Wharf with Josh, Susan and Caspian. It was soooo cold and a bit foggy, but here are some snapshots nonetheless.

Alcatraz! I'm hoping to do a tour there one of these days :)

(and no, I don't plan on staying there, thankyouverymuch!)

A baby Seal in amongst the Sea Lions at Pier 39.

I liked this Sea Lion. I named him Bucky.

Ahhh, the typical tourist Cable Car shot. I still can't believe that these things make it up and down those crazy hills. It's quite the roller coaster ride.

Piles of Sea Lions/City Shot

To answer questions/comments on my last post:

"When do they let you eat?" Uh, well, they don't. We get a few 15 minute breaks and have to snack then. Since a lot of people are Vegan/Vegetarian/On a Cleanse this doesn't seem to matter to most people, but I've been known to dash to the Whole Foods market with the only other girl who drinks coffee for a rushed Soy Latte now and then.

Epsom Salts would be amazing, but Josh and Susan's only bathtub has the cat litter box in it and is out of commission. I am loving the grapefruit Bath and Bodyworks shampoo though, does that count?

Sheila, as for being buff, I hope so! I don't know if it's just my imagination, but my body does feel firmer to me. I noticed that in the shower tonight! Maybe I'm just willing myself to believe, but four days with about 3-4 hours of yoga each day? Maybe! I hope so!

I miss you guys and wish I was at home in my comfy bed!

Gillian

Ouch! Did I say Ouch? Because Ouch!

Thanks all for your words of support! Today I'm tired and sore (abs and inner thighs today, and one part on my shoulder... I think I tore something, probably just muscle) but I thought I'd do a quick post.

Today was better than yesterday, mostly because I liked the lectures and my teacher for the Yoga Class was really fantastic and helpful. Here's the breakdown of today.

8:30am - Left for class.... was confused by the bus/cable car deal. but figured it out eventually.
9am-10am - Movie about the History of Yoga.
10am-12pm - Anatomy Lecture
12pm-1pm - Yoga Class
1:15pm -2:30pm - Ethics Lecture
2:30pm-4pm - Posture Breakdown & Personal Adjustments (of Trikonasana)
4:30pm-6pm - Observed Yoga Class
6:30pm - Got home, ate, did homework, and watched an episode of Gummy Bears with Caspian

Now I should really go to bed since I plan to do the 7am "Rocket" class tomorrow so I can finish at 4... YUCK!

Love to all,
Gillian

WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!

You know how you make a really stupid mistake sometimes, and you think "wow, that's it! I've reached the maximum level of stupidity! I can not possibly surpass this dumb-ass move!" ... and then you go to Yoga School and realise that actually, you CAN, and you just DID?!?!
That's exactly how I feel...
what...
the hell...
was I thinking???

Oddly enough, my classmates are all really nice and also entirely clad in Lululemon. So things were fine until the Yoga started happening, and then, YE GODS, the pain. THE PAIN! I hurt. I am exhausted. I have a test Friday on the Sanskrit names of the standing poses. And do you think I know which one is Padangusthasana and which one is Padahastasana? Of course I don't. What about the difference between Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana A, B, C and D? Not even a little.

I'm having real trouble turning off my Inner Critic. Part of me says "hey, it's only been two days and think how much you've learned already! Think of Suryanamaskara! Think of Vinyasa!" and then the other one that says "TEST FRIDAY!!!! NOT A TEST OF SURYANAMASKARA OR VINYASA!!!" And then there's the whole hand-stand debacle... the debacle being that I can't DO hand-stands, and when I say "I can't do that" I just get that yoga-zen smile and a "yes you can." Here, shall I demonstrate and break my neck for you, or would it just be easier to walk in front of a Cable Car? I SAID I CAN'T!!!!

And Also? San Francisco smells gross.

*eh-hem* Okay, enough venting. Can you tell I'm a little stressed, and not at all zen? Some good stuff has happened, really. I've already made a few friends and learned a lot and ... um... went shopping... and.... uhhhhhh... hmmm. I dunno.

I'm really hoping that this week is going to be the hardest and then everything will get easier next week once my muscles have stopped screaming and I start to become more familiar with the routines and Sanskrit names. Right now I'm so tired that I think I'm going to just go to bed (yes, it's 9pm, got a problem with that?!) and study tomorrow, bright and early. Or maybe I'll wake up and this will all have been a bad dream. I really hope so.

If you have any suggestions for learning Sanskrit, please let me know!!!
Gillian

Beatnik Heaven

Well... I don't even know where to start. I took this picture of Caspian today, Mr. Tired Legs after the Union Street Fair... his outfit/contemplative gaze was too beatnik to pass by ;) He's seen the best minds of his generation destroyed by madness, ya know ;)

So I got up at 3am and caught my flight at 6:30am and it didn't really seem real and mostly I was tired... until I started reading the book that Josh loaned me: "Dr. Weirde's Guide to Mysterious San Francisco." ... Then I got super-crazy-excited. I don't think I can possibly share everything with you tonight, but I've marked the pages and I'll go through my adventures as they happen.

As I emerged from the BART at Powell Station it became suddenly clear why San Francisco was the hub for fantastic, frantic, bold and all-consuming literature. This city is SO American. This city is in your face. This city defies the laws of gravity. This city just oozes seediness from every laundry-strung balcony and gated doorway. I want to explain it, but I can't. Have you read Allen Ginsberg's "Howl"? When you come here, it just makes more sense. "Oh," you think. "Yeah, I get that now." And Dashiell Hammett? I'm going to have to find a copy of "The Maltese Falcon" to read while I'm here... Now that I've been here, it makes sense that Sam Spade would get caught up in that deceit. It is such a strange place, but it's wonderful too. I have never experienced a place like this before. So Very Strange. It makes me feel really naive.

Tomorrow is my first Yoga Class and I'm FREAKED OUT. I Kinda, Sorta, Maybe, Almost know how to get there... I'm going to take the Cable Car down to Market and then walk two blocks in the direction that Josh pointed to, if I can remember what direction that was... South, I guess... SOMA District standing for "South of Market" and all... I'm so nervous. I feel like I'm starting Kindergarten. The good news is that I saw a Lululemon on Union today, so hopefully I won't be the only one there decked out head-to-toe. I hope it's okay... wish me luck!

(Just heard a Cable Car go "CLANG CLANG CLANG" outside... so weird.)

Love you and miss you all,

Gillian

Contemplating Your Navel...

No really, that IS one of the sections of my Yoga Manual. "Contemplating Your Navel" ... Really... I can't say that I've ever contemplated my navel, but apparently this is the time to do so!

I'm feeling better about the whole Yoga thing today as I have now read the manual and worked though most of the Primary Series DVD and I don't feel in over my head. Amy also took me out for a lovely dinner last night and made me feel much better by reminding me that I really do know this stuff, and it's not at all going to be like a bad dream where I arrive at school and realise that I forgot to wear pants. In fact, if any Granola Hippies scorn me for my Lululemon attire, then they aren't really engrossed in the Yoga practice anyway, are they? That behaviour doesn't really count as "union with the universal", because I am, in fact, a part of the universal. Maybe I'll make a T-Shirt that says "Love me! I'm part of the universal." ... or I'll just wear my Hello Kitty T-shirt the first day as an extreme challenge to them to love me :P Hahaha!

Moving on, here are a few interesting quotes from my manual...

“The breath should always be louder than the internal dialogue.”
Hmmm. My inner dialogue is fairly non-stop, so this might be problematic. I have this image in mind of me clutching my head in the middle of class and yelling "Shut UP!!! SHUT UP!!!" ... nice.

“Take the ambition out of it. You are competing with no one.”
Well thank HEAVENS! That's all I have to say about that.

“Every painful experience is an opportunity to let go.”
Uh.. Good... and you'll teach me how to do this, right? For a nano-second I considered going outside and purposely being stung by a wasp so that I could let go of my fear, but then I wasn't sure if that's what they really meant... or if it would just hurt and make me cry.

Well I think that's it for now. I can't believe that I'll be in California tomorrow! Weeeee!!!

Love,
Gillian