Ummm...?

(Delusion Road, Nova Scotia. Photo by Lisa Preston.)


Well, I passed Microstation. Just barely, but I PASSED! I'm still waiting on my AutoCad mark, checking a billion times a day, and my left eye has NOT stopped twitching for a week. But I'm fine *maniacal laughter* absolutely fine. Is it too late to stay where I am? Hmm, it is, hey?

But really, things are fine. I'm actually not fine, but I'm enjoying the delusion of "fine." I also totally forget what I was going to post about... hmmm... OH! Earrings.

So I'm renting a furnished house in Calgary and can only bring 2 suitcases of my stuff with me, cuz there's nowhere else for it to go, so my stuff will stay in Nova Scotia for a year until I get a house of my own. I'll probably cry about my books the most, as I'm only bringing 4 with me. I've gone through my clothes 3 times, getting rid of things that are old and ratty or don't look good on me. I probably have to go through one more time and be really hard on myself. There's one skirt I'm being immature and holding out on, but really it should go. I've had it since I was 16 and that was a loooong time ago. I can only bring like 2 pairs of earrings, and the rest has to stay here, so it's hard to pick. I know it's just stuff, but you get sentimental about some of it. Shoes, DVDs, my teddy bear. These are the things that keep me awake till 3am. Of course, I'd give them all up if my parents would just see reason and come back west too, but... that's not happening, so I need to bring a few things to distract myself with.

Does anyone have any good packing tips? I have the vacuum "space bags" for my clothes, and have put my 22 favourite DVDs in a travel CD case, and I ripped my favourite CDs to my laptop (and iPod) but I think I might still need room. I will happily take whatever suggestions you've got. Just remember, I'm going to California first, so I have to keep American customs and security happy... well, as happy as they can be. Do they have to sign contracts about never smiling? Poor guys. Oh, and what should I do about my yoga mat??? So many things to consider. PLEASE HELP!

Okay, I love you, send happy thoughts, ice cream and sedatives for the next 9 days!!!

Gillian

You Could Cut The Tension With a Knife!

Things have been a little intense around here lately. I think the residents of Delcourt House are all a little stressed out right now, and the air is practically flammable it's so thick with harboured resentment and strain. Don't light a match, please!

My parents are stressed because we're really behind on the renovations, mostly because we have to wait and wait for contractors and inspectors before we can move forward. My mum has a frayed tendon in her wrist, which doesn't help. I'm stressed because I feel house-bound and am having my own personal dramas sprouting up all over the place. I'm not one for personal drama and I just want it to go away. But it's not going anywhere and eventually I'm going to have to deal with it. Yuck.

This evening I have thrown my hands into the air and am hiding in my room to work on a "Christmas Project." I realise it's early November and a lot of people think that's too early to think about Christmas. But I defy those people to live here for a week and feel good without the aid of Christmas music. Go on, I dare you. We're running low on optimism here, people!!!

So for now? I'm dreaaaa-ming of a whiiiiiiiiite Christmassssssss...
Love,
Gillian

Mad Ravings From The Bat Cave

Not a lot is new on this coast. It's been insanely hot, which is making us all a little weirder than usual. The humidity out here is staggering. It's like the world is your sauna; open pores, clothes heavy with the damp, everything is sticky. It's all I can do to lay in front of a fan watching fashion television on the satellite dish. (Nathan, can you believe mum let us have a satellite dish?! I can't either!) I'm really torn over Haute Couture. Being a Fashion Designer is one of my Top 5 Dream Jobs. (The other four being Artistic Director, Novelist, Museum Curator and Music Video Director... now you know!) At any rate, Haute Couture is just ridiculous, but how fun would it be to design? You could be like "I'm Christian Dior and I'm going to make a dress entirely of feathers" and people would pay a million dollars for it. And you would just laugh and say "I can't believe they fell for that." I would name my fashion line "Delcourt" to channel my French roots. Tres Chic!

Hmm, what else? Only two bat-nights so far, and lord help us, NO pest control companies (there are only three in the Annapolis Valley) have called us back. I think I'm past the Denial and Anger stages and am onto Bargaining. My nights are spent lying awake, creating elaborate plans on how I can get out of this. (If anyone has access to a hot air balloon, please drop me a line.) I've been dealing with my stress in the usual ways of colouring my hair and baking things (auburn and peach cobbler.) While I was colouring my hair I started to think about Tarzan, and wondered if I could use Jane as a role model in this adventure? I decided I'd have to have the Victorian Safari outfit to make a real go of it (Like Jane's outfit, in the Disney Tarzan movie! heehee!) It's all about the outfit, you see? I have fashion on the brain.

Alright, mum has discovered that I'm hiding and has "requested" my help unpacking again *sigh*

I miss you all. Come save me!!! HEEEEELLLLLPPPPPP!

Gillian

Welcome To The Pit Of Despair... er... Canning, Nova Scotia.

Well...
I am sitting in a room full of boxes, thinking back on my first five days in Nova Scotia. I’m trying to pinpoint the worst moment in five days of brimstone-and-boiling-lava HELL.

Was it the first day/night without electricity, sleeping on an air mattress?
Was it the heart-attack inducing array of nightmarish bugs? (see Figure A.)
Was it walking into the crooked, bizarre home-sweet-home in the middle of freaking nowhere?
Was it the realisation that I’ll end up working at Walmart if I stay? (The Walmart in New Minas, that is... because this town is too small to even have a Tim’s...)
Was it the bat flying around inside the house at 5:30 yesterday morning?
Has it been the ongoing struggle for internet access???

Perhaps it has been all of these things combined that have driven me over the edge. So let me make this perfectly clear:
I WANT TO GO HOME. RIGHT. NOW.
I’m going to try and stick around and help my parents with renovations and set up this summer, but I think I’ll have to move to Halifax in the fall at the very least to make a living doing anything (besides which, I can’t stand living in the country. This is so horrifying.) I dunno. I just don’t know. I just wish I could find a place where I belong. So far Nova Scotia is definitely NOT IT.

Although things have been 95% horrifying, there have been a few vaguely interesting things too: - On the ferry over from New Brunswick we saw lots of dolphins and a few Minky whales (not really well, just their fins, but still.)
- I finished Harry Potter.
- It’s been so humid here that I keep having flashbacks of The Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland :P
- The bats were cool... until one came inside... and then I cried.
- The air raid siren on the volunteer fire hall goes off at noon every day, which is cute.
- The soil and sand here are red, red, RED! The Cornwallis river looks like it’s filled with chocolate milk when the tide comes in.
- We went for a drive a few nights ago while the fog was rolling in over the cliffs, which was very surreal and slightly creepy. I took a picture of a boat. It was good fun, but mum was pretty sure we would fly off the cliff in the fog... in my opinion, this is a preferable alternative to living here.

So the plan for now is to barricade myself in my room when it starts to get dark until this little “bat problem” is resolved. Aside from that I plan on working REALLY hard getting this place in shape (I have my doubts that this will happen) so that I can move somewhere reasonable. This was a stupid move on my part. Good for mum and dad, but not (I emphasize, NOT) for me.
I miss you all TOO much,
Gillian

Figure A: This charming creature is about the length of my pinky from his antennae to tail. They like to hover menacingly in front of your face and say "BOO!!!"

Foggy Boat

Surgeon General's Warning

I am now an expert on the physical side effects of moving cross-country,

WARNING: Side Effects may include constant tears, nausea, insomnia and irritability. Individuals suffering from these maladies should not be around people because it starts to get really annoying after a while. Especially the nausea. Perpetual nausea. Good times. I should have named my blog Perpetual Nausea. Weeeeeee!

Yesterday we said goodbye to the house, which was incredibly tearful and hard. We moved there when I was twelve years old. I love that house. It's so full of memories. I took some pictures, but I'm not ready to look at them yet, so maybe I'll post them later. Blah. I'm all muddled. I would really love a hefty tranquilizer and a long sleep.

Well, we start the drive on Sunday, so I'll keep you posted on things whenever I have an internet connection.

Love,
Gillian

WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!

You know how you make a really stupid mistake sometimes, and you think "wow, that's it! I've reached the maximum level of stupidity! I can not possibly surpass this dumb-ass move!" ... and then you go to Yoga School and realise that actually, you CAN, and you just DID?!?!
That's exactly how I feel...
what...
the hell...
was I thinking???

Oddly enough, my classmates are all really nice and also entirely clad in Lululemon. So things were fine until the Yoga started happening, and then, YE GODS, the pain. THE PAIN! I hurt. I am exhausted. I have a test Friday on the Sanskrit names of the standing poses. And do you think I know which one is Padangusthasana and which one is Padahastasana? Of course I don't. What about the difference between Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana A, B, C and D? Not even a little.

I'm having real trouble turning off my Inner Critic. Part of me says "hey, it's only been two days and think how much you've learned already! Think of Suryanamaskara! Think of Vinyasa!" and then the other one that says "TEST FRIDAY!!!! NOT A TEST OF SURYANAMASKARA OR VINYASA!!!" And then there's the whole hand-stand debacle... the debacle being that I can't DO hand-stands, and when I say "I can't do that" I just get that yoga-zen smile and a "yes you can." Here, shall I demonstrate and break my neck for you, or would it just be easier to walk in front of a Cable Car? I SAID I CAN'T!!!!

And Also? San Francisco smells gross.

*eh-hem* Okay, enough venting. Can you tell I'm a little stressed, and not at all zen? Some good stuff has happened, really. I've already made a few friends and learned a lot and ... um... went shopping... and.... uhhhhhh... hmmm. I dunno.

I'm really hoping that this week is going to be the hardest and then everything will get easier next week once my muscles have stopped screaming and I start to become more familiar with the routines and Sanskrit names. Right now I'm so tired that I think I'm going to just go to bed (yes, it's 9pm, got a problem with that?!) and study tomorrow, bright and early. Or maybe I'll wake up and this will all have been a bad dream. I really hope so.

If you have any suggestions for learning Sanskrit, please let me know!!!
Gillian

Shiny New Blog

Well, I sold my condo and quit my job and in just over a month I will be leaving my home town to pursue adventure. I will be living in San Francisco for a month to become a certified Yoga instructor, and then off to Nova Scotia to help my parents set up their Bed & Breakfast.

This blog will be my journal on this wild and crazy adventure, and I plan to post lots of pics and stories because... let's face it... I can barely believe I'm doing this, so why would anyone else?

Stay tuned :)

Love,
Gillian