Spazzing - It's Contagious!

Yes, it's a spaz outbreak! One might even say it's a Spaz Pandemic! The people I know, the weather, it's all spazzing, and I'm still spazzing, which leads to sudden bursts of anger/tears/inappropriate laughter on my part. Gee Wiz. I'm shaking my head in disbelief at my craziness.

The rain this morning was being totally unreasonable and as a result my pants were wet until approximately 1pm and I was very angry at the world. I was so upset. I was never going to be warm and dry EVER!AGAIN! Life was terrible, transit was cruel, jobs that start at 8am were inhumane. Spaz Spaz Spaz. I'm really tired and not sleeping very well and being overwhelmed by work and life and being a decent person, even though I think everyone hates me. So I spaz about it and then go to bed at 8pm. yay me!

Luckily, luckily, I've been reading some really good books lately and am really enjoying the little escapes that they afford. I just finished "Girlfriend in a Coma" by Douglas Coupland. It was FANTASTIC! I really love his books because they're intelligent and wryly amusing and original. Although I've read several of his books, my two faves have got to be "Girlfriend in a Coma" and "Eleanor Rigby" because they are just so freaking weird and captivating.

A few of my favourite quotes from "Girlfriend in a Coma" are:

Hamilton and I were the ones without goals. "Imagine you're a forty-year-old, Richard," Hamilton said to me around this time, while working as a salesman at a Radio Shack in Lynn Valley, "and suddenly somebody comes up to you saying, 'Hi, I'd like you to meet Kevin. Kevin is eighteen and will be making all of your career decisions for you.' I'd be flipped out. Wouldn't you? But that's what life is all about - some eighteen-year-old kid making your big decisions for you that stick for a lifetime." He shuddered.

Um, YEAH!!! I also like:

What's clarity like?
Try to remember that funny feeling inside your head when you had a math problem too difficult to solve: the faint buzzing noise in your ears, a heaviness on both sides of your skull, and the sensation that your brain is twitching inside your cranium like a fish on a beach. This is the opposite sensation of clarity. Yet for many people of my era, as they aged, this sensation became the dominant sensation of their lives. It was as though day-to-day twentieth-century living had become an unsolvable algebraic equation.

... I'm SO glad I'm not the only one who feels that way.

When I finished that I picked up "Hocus" by Jan Burke. Jan Burke is a fantastic mystery writer and I haven't been able to put this one down. Her books are incredibly intense, but fantastic.

The good news about both of these writers is that they have TONS of books. I always get so excited when I come across a fantastic writer with loads of great books to read. It's just like Christmas :)

Alright, bed time for me! (I made it till 8:39 tonight! Yay me!)
Gillian


P.S. Cool video.. er... cold video? Brrrrr.

Song of the Month for June

Alright, I've been a total spaz lately, and this weekend seems to have been my Spaz Peak. I have been a COMPLETE spaz all weekend and have frankly done a series of stupid and embarrassing things. Amazingly, I've kept the damage to a minimum. Let's hope it stays that way and that the spazzing starts to ebb now.

I know I've been a bit awol with my emails and posting lately but I don't really feel like talking. I've been really homesick and have sort of come to realise that I'm not homesick for a place that exists, but some imaginary place in my heart. Does this make sense? I'm sick for a home where I'm surrounded by my own stuff... clothes to pots and pans. A place that feels comfortable, with ALL of my friends and family within close proximity. A place by the ocean but still with decent shopping ;) I know it's going to take some time to get close to a place like this, but maybe as long as I know that I'm working toward it then I can be a little cheerier. Still, JEEEZ! Mum and Dad... seriously... Nova Scotia?!

The Song of the Month for June is "The World Spins Madly On" by The Weepies because it's just got me pegged right now. Unfortunately The Weepies don't have a video, but there are a whole bunch of mediocre fan videos out there so I'll post two.


I quite like this one, but they cut the song short! WHY?!


This one's okay too.

I planted up five window box planter thingies today, so we'll see if they survive. This was my first serious attempt at gardening! Right now they look all scrawny and unhappy about being planted, but I'll take a picture when (if) they start to look more cheerful.

Love,
Gillian

I Could Have Danced All Night!

"Bed? bed? I couldn't go to bed! My head's too light to try to set it down!"

Okay, tonight? Totally made up for last night. It was spectacularly, awesomely spectacular. Well, the first part. Part two was just stupid, but luckily I was still euphoric from the first part so it wasn't that bad. Did you know it's 2:30 am and I have to get up in 4 hours? and here I am blogging? It's the euphoria!

So, tonight. I got all dolled up to go dancing and was kinda nervous cause my friend Kim wasn't coming, so I was like "ugh, am I going to be a wallflower tonight?" I got there and didn't recognize anyone in the hall, so I went to sit at the front with the people I DID know who were selling tickets. Then everyone I know started coming, and they were TOTALLY excited to see me! Next thing I knew I had boys flirting with me from every angle, and was booking dance partners 3 songs ahead... "Okay, first I have to dance with Ian, then Mike, then the striped shirt guy, and then I'll come find you!" I'm not going to lie, it was awesome and I loved every second of it. I'm not a great dancer, but the compliments were flying at me and I was lapping it up. I was booked solid with excellent dancers, and when I took breaks to get some water there was always a complimentary young man at my side to converse with. I don't know how many times I was told that I was "the prettiest girl in the room." It was glowy and fantastic and I was sorry to leave.

But leave I did, and I got in my car and realised that this was the point where I should have known where my headlight switch was. Oops. It was dark, so I started flipping random switches and dialing random dials and miraculously the light inside the car went on and I thought "OH! That helps!" until I couldn't turn it off, and I still hadn't found the headlights. 15 minutes passed and then I got angry and went BACK to the dance and grabbed one of said complimentary young men. He obliged to help, and we fought with it for another 20 minutes. Just as AMA was telling me it would be a 90 minute wait, the young man figured out the lights! LOVE THE YOUNG MAN!

On the road again, and I totally missed my exit. But that was okay until I took the second and third wrong exits and ended up driving very quickly in the wrong direction on Sarcee Trail, saying "ACK!!!" I turned around at some point and arrived home without incident at 1:45 am after leaving the dance at midnight. This is why one shouldn't drive under the influence of euphoria. One screws up the car lights and takes wrong turns and arrives home two hours later.

But the good news is that I don't care, because that was the BEST!DANCE!EVER!!!

Heehee. Night!
Gillian

Let's Have a Laugh, Shall We?

You know how a little while ago I made a vow that I'd never spend a Friday night alone again? Guess what I'm doing. This time is actually not my fault, cuz I had plans and then Mr. Fabulous decided that I wasn't datable. So he bailed on me. But THAT, my friends, is not a story I can share on my blog. You don't need to know that much about me or about the shameful state of Men These Days. But I'm going to go dancing tomorrow night, so forget him. Boys? You suck. Calgary? You suck too.

People keep asking how my new job is and I don't really know so I've been avoiding answering. It's, well, weird. It's fine. The office and people are fine and casual and I can sit and listen to my iPod and learn cool tricks and play in AutoCAD all day and everyone ignores me, which is great, except of course I worry that I suck cuz I make really dumb mistakes and I FEEL that I should be perfect at everything immediately. This is stupid because I've NEVER been perfect at anything immediately, and yet I persist with this impossible standard. I also worry about the people ignoring me and think they're judging me. I'm sure they're just busy but, again, I want people to like me immediately and people just aren't like that. So it's fine, I think. We'll see.

SO between boys and work I've really been appreciating that Josh & Susan introduced me to "What's My Line?" I spend my free time cuddled up with my computer and laughing. What did I do before YouTube?? I get such delight out of discovering that my favourite actors and comedians were mystery guests, I have a crush on Steve Allen and I LOVE the fabulous evening dresses and costume jewelry. So go mix yourself a cocktail and let's have an evening in. Here's is a line up of some of my favourites so far:

Jack Benny


Lucille Ball & Desi Arnaz
(during the world series, so some of their questions don't make much sense till you figure that out.)


Lauren Bacall (LOVE this! John Daly has a little crush on Ms Bacall, I think.)


Doris Day (she's so cute! Heehee)


Gene Kelly ("Have you ever lost your address book in a helicopter over the Greek Islands?" HA HA HA!)


Enjoy ;)
Gillian

Cow-Town, Revisited

Well people, I don't really have much to say. It's weird being back in Calgary, it's weird living where I'm living, it's weird that I'm back and have no desire to see anyone or do anything. I'm hoping to be settled soon, eventually, and maybe when I start work tomorrow (ACK!) I'll at least feel that I have a purpose and a schedule. Maybe? More likely, I'll be tired all the time and think I'm in over my head. Let's be realistic.

WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?

And, more importantly, will I ever make a decision that feels like the RIGHT decision, instead of just flailing around madly hoping that I'm doing the right thing? I'm starting to think that's what being a grown-up REALLY is about. Trying to find the thing that makes the most sense and hoping that it all works out. That there's no such thing as a sure thing, and that the older you get, the less certain you become about everything. Am I crazy, or have we created a very stressful existence? Would we not be better off as hunter/gatherers? Eat or be eaten? I wonder.

Oh well. Now, because Josh and Susan got me hooked on "What's My Line?", here's a cute clip.



Say goodnight, Gracie!

Gillian

Song of the Month for May

The Song of the Month for May has to be "Wrapped Around Your Finger" by The Police, simply because it's been following me around. Everywhere I turn this song is playing, from the Disneyland shuttle to the Virgin America airplane. Shopping malls, my iPod, you name it, this song starts playing. Fine song, you win, you're the Song of the Month.



Two thoughts:
1. This was before Sting was cute
2. He should re-think bouncing around all those candles with hair that big.

I leave for Calgary tomorrow and I keep saying "it's exciting" when I'm not, in fact, excited at all. I'm faking enthusiasm to cover my fear and homesickness. Not that I miss Canning, just miss my parents, pets and my bed. Blah.

So if you see me and I give you a big fake grin, just bear with me. I know you know I'm faking, and I will hopefully be back with you soon.

xoxo,
Gillian

Why I Heart California

The mini Golden Gate Bridge at Disney's California Adventure


Ohmygod, I feel like hell warmed over right now. My throat and ears feel like they're on fire, which sort of makes everything suck. I'm about to go to Target, for crying out loud, which would normally send me into paroxysms of glee, but instead I'm like "ugh. Must jump in front of cable car to end the pain."

But I still love California. I went shopping yesterday and spent a LOT of money, because the sales people here have got GAME. They must all work on commission because they just start throwing things in for free, giving you discounts, telling you you're beautiful, and suddenly you're five hundred bucks poorer and your bag explodes on the bus. So it's good that I'm leaving, because as much as I like hearing that I'm beautiful, I know they're lying to get a sale. I KNOW they're lying because I've seen how I look, which is bad skin, bad hair, swollen glands, sunburnt and epically freckled. They just want my money, and they can't convince me otherwise.

They just have such good stores here. Like The Container Store. Are you kidding me? Storage thrills me, and here's a store full of smart storage solutions and I get really blissed out just thinking about "a place for everything, and everything in its place." They ship to Canada now, but that sounds expensive to me... so maybe not. But the shopping here did make me happy, I stocked up on things for people and was thrilled that the lady at Bath & Body Works said they're opening a location in Calgary. And suddenly people here know where Alberta is, which is weird. When did that happen? What has Bush been telling you people about our oil reserves?

Another thing I love about California is the food. I am in Vitamin Water heaven, and got my Ben & Jerry's peach cobbler ice cream, which I have been dreaming about since July 2007! I don't know if I'll make it to Whole Foods, which might be for the best because I can't fit anything else into my suitcases. We'll see!

Alright, off to Target and in search of some soup.

Love,

Gillian